Being Better: What to Do When Someone On Your Team Isn’t Performing or Being Their Best
Recognizing that a team member is not at their best can be a challenging situation for any leader. The "Being Better" conversation, a critical component of the Five Tough Talks, is designed to address such issues. This conversation differs from others because it focuses on established patterns rather than isolated incidents, demanding a high level of bravery and compassion from the leader initiating it.
Understanding the Need for a Being Better Conversation
A "Being Better" conversation may arise from consistent patterns in behavior or performance that negatively impact the team and organizational goals. It requires a direct yet caring approach to help the individual understand and rectify their shortcomings.
Initiating the Conversation
Situation: Begin by describing the specific behaviors or performance issues that have become problematic. This could start with reflective questions like, "Can you share three things you think you're excelling at? What are two areas you believe you need improvement in?" This not only sets a reflective tone but also eases into the conversation.
Observation: Detail what you've observed without making personal judgments. Stick to facts and behaviors that are evident and avoid assumptions about the individual’s intentions or feelings.
Impact: Clearly communicate how their actions affect the team and the organization. Whether it’s a loss of trust among team members or a dip in the company's results, it's important that the individual understands the consequences of their actions.
Explore: Allow the person to respond. This step is crucial as it provides them the opportunity to share their perspective and take accountability for their actions.
Action: Encourage the team member to lead the discussion on possible solutions and actions they can take to improve. This empowers them to take ownership of their growth and recovery.
Reflecting on Personal Experience
Leaders can also find themselves needing a "Being Better" conversation. I experienced this firsthand when stepping into a new role with high expectations. Initially focused solely on task completion, I overlooked the importance of relationship building. This led to a personal "Being Better" conversation where I had to reassess and shift my approach from transactional to strategic, emphasizing building trust and partnerships.
The Importance of Trust and Vulnerability
These conversations are among the toughest to have because they involve confronting shortcomings. However, they are essential not only for the individual’s improvement but also for building deeper trust and understanding within the team. Master Coach Susan Mann suggests allowing time for reflection and absorption of the conversation's content, highlighting that not all issues will be resolved immediately.
Moving Forward
Once the conversation has taken place, it’s beneficial to reflect on its outcomes:
How did the conversation begin?
Were all five steps followed, ending with a clear action plan?
What aspects of the conversation were successful, and what could be improved next time?
Engaging in "Being Better" conversations, despite their complexity, shows a commitment to personal and team growth. It’s about caring enough to confront the hard truths and supporting team members in their journey towards being their best selves. These discussions, though challenging, are foundational to fostering a culture of continuous improvement and exceptional leadership.