Straight Talk in Leadership: How to Shoot it Straight, No Chaser
Imagine you're being interviewed for a new leadership role and are told, “If you can’t fix the area you will be responsible for, we will outsource the whole thing.” Whoa! That was the challenge I faced, and I was ready to tackle it head-on. Fast forward thirty days, I was presenting my ninety-day plan to the CEO over lunch. After an hour of discussion, the CEO said, “Great job,” which felt like a green light. However, as I returned to my office, a team member messaged me about a piece of lettuce stuck in my braces. It had been there the entire meeting, yet the CEO hadn't mentioned it. This got me thinking: if he couldn't tell me about something as trivial as lettuce in my teeth, how could I trust him to provide honest feedback on critical issues?
The Cost of Avoiding Straight Talk
Why do we avoid straightforward conversations? Simple things like pointing out food in someone's teeth or telling them their zipper is down become awkward. If we can't manage these small interactions, how can we handle the tougher, more significant conversations that truly matter?
Avoiding straight talk can lead to:
Mistrust: If team members feel you're not honest, they'll question everything you say.
Miscommunication: Lack of clear communication can lead to misunderstandings and errors.
Stagnation: Without honest feedback, personal and professional growth is stunted.
The Power of Straight Talk
Straight talk is about honesty, transparency, and clarity. It involves giving and receiving feedback with bravery and grace. Leaders who master straight talk create environments of trust and continuous improvement.
How to Incorporate Straight Talk in Leadership
Care Personally, Challenge Directly: This principle from the book "Radical Candor" by Kim Scott emphasizes showing you care while being direct. For instance, Scott's boss, Sheryl Sandberg, once told her, “When you say 'um' every third word, it makes you sound stupid.” Harsh, but it got the message across and led to positive change.
Use Clear, Direct Language: Avoid beating around the bush. Statements like, “Can I share something that might be uncomfortable?” or “I want to let you know something I’m seeing,” help set the stage for honest dialogue.
Trust Silence: After posing a tough question, resist the urge to fill the silence. This gives the other person space to think and respond genuinely.
Employ “Yes, And”: When you need to disagree, frame your response as “Yes, and” instead of “But.” This keeps the conversation constructive.
Frameworks for Feedback: Use methods like Start/Stop/Continue to provide clear, actionable feedback. This helps in giving balanced feedback and fosters a culture of continuous improvement.
A Personal Example
After the embarrassing lettuce incident, I decided to address it with the CEO during our next meeting. I started with, “Can I ask something that may be uncomfortable for both of us?” This opened the door for an honest conversation about feedback. By the end, we had established agreements for giving and receiving direct, timely feedback, which significantly improved our working relationship.
Take Action
Straight talk isn't easy, but it's essential for effective leadership. Here are some questions to guide you:
What is the story I am telling myself about this moment?
What would best serve the work and the people involved?
What is the bravest thing I can do right now?
Brave Leaders understand that honest communication is the key to progress. They challenge the status quo, aiming to make things better constantly.